


"This quite suggests a certain kind of a relationship..."

by dril_omens (flight_to_tarn)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, the canon that could have been
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 01:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19897708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flight_to_tarn/pseuds/dril_omens
Summary: Ficlet inspired by a Wikipedia entry Neil Gaiman found for Aziraphale, where "it also got mentioned that Aziraphale watched porn, taking notes..."(Sadly, Neil confirmed in the blog entry that it's not quite canon. It's too good to let escape, though.)





	"This quite suggests a certain kind of a relationship..."

.

“I’ve been watching pornography,” Aziraphale announced.

Crowley nearly spat out his coffee. “You’ve been what now?”

“Watching pornography,” Aziraphale repeated proudly. “And taking notes.”

“That bit is less surprising, honestly.”

“After analyzing which _acts_ the actors—er-—fornicatrices?—enjoy the most, I have created a list.”

“I don’t know if I like where this is going…”

“That’s what it’s all about, really! This list is for you”—Aziraphale thrust a legal pad into Crowley’s hand—”to examine and tell me what you would like to try. I might suggest a numbering system, where 0 is _no interest_ and 5 is _extreme interest_ , or I suppose if that’s too time consuming, you could mark the most interesting acts with a star or underscore—”

“Angel.”

“Yes?”

“This isn’t at all how the humans do it; you know that?”

“I’m sure some do.”

“Most don’t.”

“Well, yes, but we _aren’t_ human.”

“Sure aren’t,” the demon said. “Look.” He sighed, handing the list back to the angel. “If you want to try it, I’m interested too. You can”—he licked his lips—“do whatever you want with me.”

Aziraphale grinned.

“In that case,” he said, pushing the pad away again, “you’d better number them in order of what you want to try first.”


End file.
